The Harsh Reality Of Life As A Digital Nomad (Homeboy’s Lament )
The digital nomad / remote work lifestyle is not a glamorous as it seems
I became a digital nomad by accident. After wandering through Asia in search of my treasure, the powers that be presented me with an opportunity to work from my laptop.
A friend who worked for a marketing company, asked me to write as much as I could for the foreseeable future. Back then, I took this as a sign and embraced the opportunity.
I wrote in Ho Chi Minh City. My digital nomad writing then took me to Hanoi and finally to Hong Kong. After nearly a year of digital nomad work, I realized something — I hated it.
By definition, a digital nomad is someone who travels and works from their laptop. They are somewhat nomadic in the sense that they can and often do, change work locations.
Quite often Youtubers and social media influencers talk to you about digital nomad work, but they have not lived the life. They make videos, and travel, and as soon as they experience problems, they quite often move on to another location.
They’re not real digital nomads.
One of the main challenges for someone who is becoming a digital nomad, is making genuine associates and figuring out which social circle to belong to, and more importantly, especially for “so-called” Black men — how you will enter them.
People who haven’t lived as digital nomads have the misconception that they’ll travel to the other end of the earth and instantly make associates or develop genuine friendships easily. After living in 7 countries, I can tell you that it doesn’t work like that.
If you’re a working professional in a foreign country, you often have to overcome the difficulty of working with and interacting with coworkers in a different culture.
One benefit of actually working in a foreign country is that you’re provided with a liaison or paired with a foreign colleague who can help show you the ropes. As a nomad, you don’t have the association of coworkers, or an experienced colleague, who can explain facets of the culture.
Each city and country has its own rhythm, and you’ll find that many “expat” circles have their own unwritten rules. I speak about this in my book, and as a “so-called” Black man, you must enter their circles cautiously. Entering these circles as a digital noman can me challenging.
A few years ago, I wrote the article THE EMOTIONAL CHALLENGES OF LIFE ABROAD for LIVE AND INVEST OVERSEAS digital magazine. I included input from a phycologist and therapist who specialize in mental health for expats. The main difficulty they spoke about was the reality of travel, which is not a vacation experience.
As a nomad, you may find several activities on social media. These are good starting points, and you’ll often find that most exparts are eager to share. However, this doesn’t mean that you’re automatically accepted into the inner circles or as a valued member of the community, far from it.
In places like Beijing, an unwritten rule was that a foreigner who lived in the city less than a year hadn’t really paid their dues. They were less likely to be invited to certain gatherings, and some foreigners were hesitant to develop relationships with them.
Pre COVID-19, cities like Hong Kong had a history of foreigners were seasonal workers. The seasoned expat community has learned not to initiate invitations to or try and develop relationships with these newcomers.
How should a digital nomad make friends or genuine connections?
I advise people to connect with those who have similar interests. In fact, you should only travel to locations where you can engage in activities that you enjoy. I mention this in my book HOMEBOY AND THE PYRAMIDS and I encourage all so-called Black men to practice martial arts and engage or learn social dancing.
If you’re not able to do that, find a local gym. At a gym, you’ll often meet other foreigners or locals who will be interested in communicating with you. Locals may be interested in speaking English, and there is also the opportunity to run into other foreigners. The most remote location I have worked in was near Sisophon, Cambodia. There were several gyms in town, and quite often, Cambodians would try to have friendly conversations with me. So basically, if your a digital nomad, don’t sit inside your hotel room by yourself.
In terms of keeping your sanity, I’d also advise you to travel to locations that have coworking spaces. Again, in the pre-COVID-19 world, these places provide you with the opportunity to work around other entrepreneurs or nomads without being totally isolated. Places like Chiang Mai have attracted many digital nomads, who have created their own social communities.
Enter these digital nomad communities with caution.
Your “Blackness” will be an issue, even though people may not say it directly. I discuss this in my book, but as long as Caucasians don’t see you as a threat, financially or skillfully, then they’ll be willing to befriend you.
When you enter these circles, be a passive Alpha male, bordering on Sigma male status. Never enter these communities with problems or with issues because you’ll come off as a beta. Work hard and never let people know what your main focus or specialty is, especially if you’re doing well financially. Let others think they are better off than you, and always keep your guard up.
For example, if you’re making bank from cryptocurrency investments, you can tell people you work in finance. No one needs to know how much.
Finally, as a digital nomad, I’d encourage all “so-called” Black men to get therapy when they feel isolated or lonely. We come from cultures that encourage us to bottle up our emotions. We often deal with negative feelings the wrong way, perhaps constantly engaging in unfulfilling sex, weed, or alcohol. Substance abuse is a huge issue for all travelers, and digital nomads can fall into an unhealthy routine of loading up on their drug of choice.
When I was in Cambodia, I started my journey in yoga. I’d encourage every “so-called” Black man to have a yoga and mediation practice. Again, most cities have yoga, and it is a good way to find a spiritual community.
Once you get into a routine and have some experience living abroad, life as a digital nomad can be very rewarding. However, I’d recommend that “so-called” Black men work abroad as part of a professional organization before working as a digital nomad.